The blind alley...

It was a cinematic ending to a tumultuous relationship.

Until that night, I hadn’t heard the sound of dishes crashing against a wall before.

We had been together since I was 16.

She was the older girl, the one my parents didn’t approve of.

She had tattoos, smoked cigarettes, liked to drink, and walk around in low cut jeans with her thong showing.

I have to believe Dad understood my choices at the time.

We spent seven years together.

Back then, I wasn’t as thoughtful as I am now.

I didn’t care for the deep dives.

Staying on the surface was just fine.

It was safe.

I didn’t always feel like I was racing against the clock, but I guess that comes with age.

I’d joke with my Dad and say “I was 24 when I became a man.”

He died when I was 25.

You realize you’ve veered from the path when you’re sweeping up broken dishes, two months after moving 3,000 miles away from home, reading a letter titled…

“YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.”

Every Tuesday at The Hotel Cafe

Almost a decade later…

Over the past decade, I’ve made just about every mistake you could make.

I’ve stayed too long.

I’ve left too early.

I’ve spoken too much.

I’ve said too little.

Whether personal or professional, happiness and success lay in our ability to grow from our mistakes.

Becoming a man was learning a few things:

• I can be hurt.

• I can hurt others.

• The right way isn’t always the easy way.

• You only have yourself to blame.

• Nothing will go according to plan.

Hunter S. Thompson once said…

“A man who has blown all his options can’t afford the luxury of changing his ways. He has to capitalize on whatever he has left, and he can’t afford to admit — no matter how often he’s reminded of it — that every day of his life takes him farther and farther down a blind alley.”

When you’re just getting started, it’s easy to operate your day to day with a level of delusion that is laughable years later.

You think you’re in control, that you have some say in the master plan.

If I just follow my heart, how could it not work out?

You believe in brute force.

You fear the blind alley, because it seems avoidable.

But at one point or another, we all find ourselves in a place that doesn’t make sense.

One that we didn’t plan for.

In these times, we capitalize on what we have left.

However, this place we’ve found ourselves in holds some of life’s greatest gifts.

We are stripped to nothing.

We find faith.

We find purpose.

The table is reset.

and we continue onward.

Long live rock n roll,

Lucas