If you’re waiting for your big break, you may be the only thing to break.

The journey > the destination.

Read all of it, or none of it, per usual.

There’s a happy ending (sorta).

“Not every end is the goal. The end of a melody is not its goal, and yet if a melody has not  reached its end, it has not reached its goal.”

~ Friedrich Nietzsche

If you’re my girlfriend Jess, it’s probably pretty hard to be in a relationship with someone who wakes up every day and chooses war, yet isn’t quite always sure who he’s fighting.

“LUCAS DON’T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!”

“BUT I’M JUST TRYING TO TELL YOU WHAT I’M DOING TODAY”

“Do you have to do it so violently?”

The answer is yes.

Live for something or die for nothing baby, anything less is boring.

At shows, I get asked for advice all the time…from those just getting their start, those hustling day to day, chasing their big break.

“So what do you think I should do?”

With strong opinions, it would make sense to assume strong “solutions.”

…and from a guy whose show is called “Lucas Flood Presents,” and whose mailing list is called “Letters From Lucas,” you’ve probably pegged me for a raging narcissist, who loves to hear the sound of his own voice spew bullshit that he’s conjured up from nothing other than thin air…

Yet on the contrary muthafucka!

If I had it figured out, I probably wouldn’t be sitting around all day tryna figure out HOW THE FUCK TO FIGURE IT OUT.

And I’ll most definitely never be the “10 Steps to Make It In The Modern Music Business” guy.

Why SO many times does that guy NOT have $1 Million in the bank, he does NOT have 10 Grammys, he does NOT have a yacht that comes equipped with 7 sexy ladies in bikinis, yet he has CRACKED THE CODE with the perfect “how to make it in the music business” formula…all you gotta do is buy this one course, for the discounted price of $5,000!!!

GOD MAKE IT STOP.

Happiness is uncovering what you already have…

One of my greatest struggles is believing that the last good thing to happen, might just be the last good thing to happen.

I find myself unable to celebrate wins, or able to let that feeling of “victory” stick around for longer than 20 minutes, regardless of how big or small the win was.

I’m afraid to hope for things, because I’m afraid of letting myself down.

I find myself obsessed with time, constantly feeling like I’m outside my own body, spending too much energy dwelling on the past and planning for the future.

I’m not here enough.

At The Hotel Cafe last week, I was hanging with a friend outside our Tuesday night show.

He was telling me how tired he was and how today was a pretty rough day.

When I asked why, he immediately began explaining “well, I shouldn’t be down on myself, I just cashed the biggest check I’ve ever gotten from acting.”

Of course I asked how much, just to see what we were dealin with.

He said over $20,000, and it was one of several checks he’s going to receive from a pretty big national commercial he was just in.

I mean you gotta be in the top 5% of actors in Los Angeles if you’re cashing those checks these days, right?

I first asked if he wanted to go celebrate / spend some of it around the corner at The Body Shop (legendary establishment), to which he declined due to his wife + new born at home sleeping…

We went on to have a meaningful conversation about why it’s so difficult to be “happy,” even when these fairly substantial things happen in our lives…things that we’ve legitimately dreamed of.

Yet now that we’re here, and some time has passed, the dreams have changed…they’ve gotten bigger, we’ve grown hungrier, and finding satisfaction has become more difficult.

Today is not forever…

I keep telling myself there’s going to be more.

“This can’t be everything.”

THERE HAS TO BE MORE.

I’m always longing for more.

No matter the profession, we can all relate to the nature of this path…the one outside the lines.

You’re alone in your thoughts each day.

Even your closest friends don’t really understand what you’re doing.

There’s a strong feeling of delusion.

You are an imposter.

You may lose grip on reality, and what you actually want from this.

To believe you’re capable of great things, when you’re currently “not great,” is a difficult thought to hold on to for so long.

It’s hard to be the one who believes in yourself most.

I have tears in my eyes writing this.

We become our harshest critic over these years.

We lose perspective.

We push ourselves to the edge…and maybe when $20,000 finally comes along, earned from the craft we’ve been honing for all this time, instead of celebrating, we see it as a fluke…something that won’t happen again any time soon.

If you’re waiting for your big break, you may be the only thing to break.

The goal post will shift…your desires will change.

You’ll never be exactly where you want to be.

But what pursuit do you find the most joy in?

What you could spend the rest of your life doing?

What if you have everything you need, right now?

Don’t waste any more time.

The big break is not the goal.

You do have everything you need right now.

To believe anything less is to remove all that is beautiful from this world.

Art is pain, art is conflict, art is passion, and desire and sacrifice, and hopefully from all of these things, we can find resolution, and maybe even salvation.

Everything on your terms, always.

That way, when the big break comes, you wont feel it…

You’ve been happy all along.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

~ Robert Frost

Long live rock n roll.

Lucas